This is exactly what
$99 buys you.
Below is a real, full-length walkthrough of a sample Swordfish report. Fake patient, real format, real depth.
Meet Johnathon Doebert: 40-year-old man, borderline cholesterol, low free testosterone, vitamin D deficient. The textbook mid-life optimization case.
More than just blood.
We analyze a wide range of lab and diagnostic tests. Upload whatever you have — the report adapts to your specific data.
Not sure if we handle your test type? Reach out before purchasing and we’ll confirm.
Not your typical lab summary.
Every section. Every page. No fluff.
Here's what shows up between the cover and the final page.
It opens like a real medical document.
Every report starts with a clean cover page — name, date, specimen ID, lab provider. This isn't a generic PDF template. It's a personalized document built for one person.
Then we talk to you like a human.
Before any data, before any numbers, you get a plain-English letter. What we found, what it means in context, and what NOT to panic about. No medical jargon. No fear-mongering.
Every marker. Color-coded. At a glance.
One page shows your entire panel — Priority 1 (urgent), Priority 2 (address this season), Watch (trending), Optimal (working great). You'll know exactly where to focus before reading another page.
We don't list problems. We connect them.
Most flagged markers trace back to ONE upstream cause. This page shows the cascade: how one root issue prints itself across multiple test results. Fix the root, the dominoes fall in your favor.
Every flagged marker gets a full page.
What it is in plain English. What yours means in context. Foods that help. Ancestral context. Reality Check on the BS you've been told. And exactly what to ask your doctor about it.
Food first. Supplements second.
Three tiers: Foundation, Targeted, and Optional. Regenerative and ancestral when possible — cod liver oil over multivitamins, organ meat over MCT pills. Honest cost-benefit on every recommendation.
Specific enough to follow tomorrow.
Not 'eat healthier' — actual food protocols, sample menus, exercise prescriptions, and a retest timeline. Built around the root cause we identified, not generic advice.
A printable page you bring to your next visit.
Every report ends here. We're your unbiased second opinion, not a replacement for medical care. This page hands you the exact questions to ask and the conversations to start.
What you're probably wondering.
Is this just AI-generated fluff?
No. The structure, the marker library, the food protocols, the supplement reasoning — all hand-curated. AI helps draft the personalized prose, but every output is reviewed against an internal contract. If the analysis doesn't make sense, the system refuses to ship a broken report.
Am I really getting 37 pages of useful content?
Yes — and we mean useful, not padded. No 'fun facts about cholesterol' filler. Every page either decodes a finding, gives you something to do about it, or hands you a question to ask your doctor.
What if my labs are different from Doebert's?
The report dynamically restructures around YOUR markers. Five flagged markers means five deep-dive pages. Twelve flagged means twelve. The dashboard, action plan, and stack all rebuild from your specific data.
Are you a replacement for my doctor?
Absolutely not. Every report ends with a printable page of questions for your doctor — that's the point. We're an unbiased second opinion that translates your labs into plain English. Your doctor makes the medical decisions.
Why food-first instead of supplements?
Food has more bioavailable nutrients than 90% of supplements, and the side effects are usually 'feeling better.' We only recommend supplements when food can't reach the marker — and we tell you exactly why each one earned its slot.
How long does it take?
2 to 4 hours from upload to inbox. You'll get an email when it's ready with a link to view and download your PDF.
Now do it for your blood.
Upload your lab PDF. Get a 37-page report decoded for you in 2 to 4 hours.