Your Blood,
Decoded.
An unbiased, holistic interpretation of your blood work, rooted in modern functional health science and ancestral nutrition. Translated into plain English. Delivered as a 25-30 page PDF.
First-time customers$149$99
Educational · Not medical advice · Bring it to your doctor
How It Works
Four steps. Two to four hours.
01
Upload labs
Drag in your lab PDF or photos. LabCorp, Quest, Ulta, or any other.
02
Pay $99 (first report)
Single charge, first-time pricing. No subscription. Stripe-secured.
03
We analyze
Our system reads every marker, finds the patterns, drafts your report.
04
Get your PDF
Delivered to your inbox in 2-4 hours. Bring it to your doctor.
Inside Your Report
25-30 pages. Three reading levels. Zero fluff.
Plain-English translations
Every technical term gets three explanations: like-you-are-five, the regular version, and why it matters in YOUR specific report.
Root cause patterns
We do not list problems, we connect them. Most flagged markers trace back to one or two underlying patterns.
Food-first protocols
Specific foods that support each marker. Regenerative supplements only where food cannot reach.
90-day action plan
Specific enough to follow tomorrow. Sample menus, supplement schedule, retest timeline.
Questions for your doctor
A printable list of the exact questions to bring to your next appointment.
Bring this to your doctor
Every report ends here. We are your unbiased second opinion, not a replacement for medical care.
See It Before You Buy
37 pages.
Already built.
Don't take our word for it. Read a real, full-length Swordfish report — fake patient, real format, real depth.
Meet Johnathon Doebert: 40 years old, borderline cholesterol, low free testosterone, vitamin D deficient. We walk through every page — the dashboard, the root cause cascade, the marker deep dives, the 90-day plan, and the printable doctor questions.
37
pages
15
categories
$0
to read
Common questions
Before you upload your bloodwork
Is my data safe?+
Yes. Lab PDFs and reports are encrypted at rest and in transit. We never sell your data. We auto-delete raw lab uploads 30 days after your report is generated. Full details on the privacy page.
Are you a doctor?+
No. Swordfish is educational — we help you understand your numbers and ask better questions. Every report ends with a printable page of questions to bring to your physician. Your doctor decides.
What lab formats can I upload?+
Blood panels work best today — CBC, CMP, lipid, thyroid, hormones, vitamins, inflammation markers. Expanding to DUTCH, GI-Map, HTMA, microbiome, and heavy metals. Got something specific? Email us first.
How long does it take?+
Most reports are emailed within a few hours. You'll get the PDF as an attachment plus a link to download from your dashboard anytime.
Do you offer refunds?+
Yes. Full refund within 7 days, no questions asked. Just email us.
Ready to decode your labs?
One report. Delivered to your inbox in 2-4 hours.
$149$99 first report